fish gif

you know, i like a lot of youi'm sure you feel the same way, sometimes i wish there were morehours in the day. if there were i'm sure i woulduse them to figure out why the earth's rotation was suddenlyslower. but i would also use that timeto get really informed about the

news. i don't have that time, all thetime. so instead, this is stephencolbert's hot takes. first off, a disclaimer, my hottakes are right out of the oven

so i can't be responsible forhow poorly thought out my opinions are. (laughter)tonight's hot take, beer. (applause). >> stephen: thank you. i love beer. it dates back almost 6,000 yearsto ancient sumeria where it led to a lot of late night cuneiformtablets reading "you up? ".

(laughter)so because i love beer, my blood ran frosty when i heard the newsthat guinness is changing its iconic recipe after 256 years. yeah. oh, oh, yeah. my hot take? i don't like it. look. you don't change guinness.

guinness changes you. (applause)usually-- usually into someone who wants to spend three hourssinging come on, eileen. okay, here's the recipe changethey're considering. brace yourself, because startingin 2016, guinness will stop using fish bladders to filterits iconic dark stout. first of all, there's been fishbladder in my beer this whole time? that's disgusting.

and second, why are you takingaway pie delicious fish bladder? come on. when i'm drinking a guinness, idon't mine to be the first bladder it goes through. frankly, i'm a little surprised. i always thought guinness wasmade of chunks of peat, ground up four leaf clofers andwhatever you squeeze out of a leprechaun to make it brown. and even worse, even worse isthe reason they're changing it.

to please vegans. oh, come on, vegans! don't take it out on us justbecause you need something to drink to help you forget you'revegan. (laughter)what i want to know-- (applause)how did this happen? all the news outlets point tothis petition from change.org which has only 1,746 signatureswhich really isn't a lot especially considering they werehoping to reach 2500 signatures.

come on, guinness guys, a fewcranky vegans made you change a century's old recipe? it's not like they're going tohurt you. techically you're animals. i'm not going to sit here andlet vegans walk all over us in their sustainably sourced fauxleather sand alls. tonight i'm starting my ownchange.org petition to put fish bladder back in guinness. (applause)not only that, i want extra fish

bladder and while we're at it,let's put a sprig of beef jerky in there too. now this is an actual petition,and i want you all to sign it. follow@colbert late show for thelink to the petition. then go have yourself a nicerefreshing guinness. or for the same color andflavor, dunk a loaf of pumpernickel into a bottleinvolve ka. and until we change the worldtogether, i'll just have to add my own fish bladder.

here we go. hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm. (laughter)(cheers and applause) i think i know why my ancestorsleft the old country.